Lonely, Not Alone
by love-prerecorded
Summary: In which Ami recalls a time when it wasn't so easy to be different and when she learns to accept herself regardless. When Makoto realizes she and Ami have more in common than they both initially realized. AU where there are no Senshi. Cover image drawn by yours truly.
1. Chapter 01

Makoto sighed contentedly as she picked up a plate of sandwiches sliced diagonally into quarters. It was past lunchtime and that meant it was time to eat; no exceptions for anyone, especially a certain blue haired woman who had a tendency to be a bit forgetful when it came to this.

Makoto walked through the hall and stopped by the door to Ami's study, knocking softly before coming in anyway.

The tall woman immediately found Ami lying on her back, in the middle of the carpeted floor staring up at the ceiling with a blank expression.

Makoto laughed. "Is the floor comfortable?" she asked with a smile.

Ami returned a shy grin.

"Mind if I join you?"

Ami nodded. Makoto placed the sandwiches to rest on top of Ami's desk before she lied on the floor, beside her partner. "I guess even geniuses need a break from their studies."

"Sometimes," Ami replied with a shrug. "I was just thinking actually."

Makoto turned her head towards Ami expectantly, nonverbally asking her to continue.

Ami's hand moved to caress the brunette's and instinctively, their fingers intertwined. "I was thinking back to high school."

Makoto gave her an incredulous look, "High school?"

"Yes, high school. I was thinking about how I'm really fortunate to have met you."

Makoto blushed fiercely and looked away, "We had some good times back then, didn't we?"

"Perhaps even the best of times. Still… I can't help but also think of a time when things weren't as pleasant."

Makoto sat up slightly, reclining on her elbow. "Want to talk about it? I won't force you to."

"It's fine. It will be good to talk about this…"

...

For the majority of Ami's life, she had accepted the fact that she was, to put it frankly, different. On the exterior, she was the exact same as every other girl her age; two eyes, two ears, and functional limbs. However, what went on inside of her brain is what set her apart.

Although Ami was a child of few words, when it came to intelligence, she was truly gifted; she could recall learning how to read when she was just three. One afternoon, her mother, Saeko, a highly accomplished doctor, stumbled upon her daughter reading through her medical journals and being able to comprehend it.

Ami also had an extraordinary retentive memory; anything she read, she could recall it all by heart years later, exactly as it was. Saeko found this remarkably peculiar, but she was also highly intrigued and inspired to further encourage Ami to pursue her strange interests.

It wasn't too long after that that Saeko also discovered that Ami was gifted at mathematics. Ami could remember waking up every morning at precisely 9:45 and having her mother take her on long walks around town, all the while drilling her on difficult equations. Ami answered the questions correctly every single time without fail. Saeko couldn't explain it, but quantitative values seemed to comfort Ami in a way that nothing else could.

Ami was fortunate to have a mother like Saeko in her life to guide her. She was an independent, intelligent, young woman with wisdom beyond her years. With endless amounts of hard work and endurance, she achieved her dreams and continues to inspire people daily to do the same.

Saeko was the one who taught Ami the importance of a good work ethic, discipline, and punctuality. She was also the one who taught Ami that it was okay to laugh and that it was okay to cry. She was her main source of emotional support; everything that Ami seemed to struggle with, Saeko always seemed to understand. Ami had never been more on the same page with someone other than her mother.

Just like Ami had a mother, she of course also had a father.

Ami's father was a self-employed painter very passionate about his craft. Not having the most stable of careers, Saeko was the main source for financial income of the household. Not that she minded, of course.

Ami's father was a carefree man who saw the world in many shades of gray as opposed to just black and white. He and Saeko were opposites in that regard and many others as well. Ami often times wondered what drew the two together in the first place.

At the drop of a hat, Ami could go from almost completely nonverbal to going off on either her mother or father about many of topics she read about relating to maths and sciences. She could speak on the subjects for hours at any time of day, the plethora of knowledge seemingly unending. Saeko always listened, occasionally adding in her own two cents whenever Ami paused to breathe.

For her father, on the other hand, he didn't want to be bothered.

Saeko did her best to never let her husband's opinions and criticisms ever affect Ami. She constantly reassured her daughter that she could do anything, be anything, and that she didn't ever need to change who she was to please others.

For a long time, Ami did believe her mother whenever she said that to her, but as the years passed and as she progressed in school, she began to have her doubts.

...

"Miss Mizuno," she started, "are you aware of why I'm speaking with you today?"

Ami shook her head slowly.

The guidance counselor sighed tiredly, and gestured to the chair in front of her desk. Ami reluctantly sat down, putting her bag down next to her.

"I've asked you here to today because I needed to express my concerns about you," she continued.

Ami raised a blue brow perplexedly.

"I've been speaking with other teachers and we were in agreement. Ami, it's very obvious that you excel remarkably when it comes to academics, however, in regards to your social skills, you seem to be lacking."

Contrary to what Ami had originally thought, all the way back in kindergarten, school was not easy. It wasn't the actual learning part that she struggled with; in fact she was already miles ahead of her peers before she had even enrolled. The most difficult part of it had been the social aspect.

Both at school and at home, Ami was more on the nonverbal side. At home, she managed to communicate with her mother just fine without even having to use words, but at school things were a bit more complicated. Both she and her peers clearly spoke Japanese, but at the same time, it was as if they were speaking a completely foreign language.

The clear difference was that when her classmates spoke, they spoke like the children they were, in fragmented, unthought out sentences that never seemed to have a point. In the few occasions where Ami did have to communicate verbally, she was an adult; she spoke in long, complex sentences with difficult words that sometimes even the teacher couldn't understand.

As a result of her quirks, she felt alienated amongst her classmates. So if Ami could help it, she chose not to engage with her peers. She didn't understand them and they didn't understand her, so she thought the logical solution was to isolate herself. At recess, the other children played games together, and Ami stayed at her desk with a book in her hand or she'd be working on math problems.

Suddenly Ami's flats became very interesting as she looked down at them.

"I have to be completely honest with you; your high marks will only take you so far, especially in the professional world. If you don't know how to communicate, form relationships with your peers, or even function in a group setting, I do not think that you will succeed. Do you understand?"

Ami said nothing and she never met the counselor's eyes.

"You're extremely bright, but communicating with other kids your age will prove to be just as important as your studies," she said. "Where do you see yourself in the future? Say ten years?"

Ami shrugged.

"Ami, you need to have some sort of goal. What is it?"

"I don't know."

"But-"

Before the counselor could finish her sentence, Ami abruptly stood from the chair.

"Thank you," Ami said with a bow.

She took her bag and hurried out of the office without another word.

The news shouldn't have come as much of a surprise as it did to Ami. She was well aware that she struggled in social affairs, but it was still disheartening to hear those concerns voiced out loud. What Ami did not tell her counselor was that her ultimate dream was to become a celebrated doctor, just like her mother. So it especially stung that that dream would probably remain just a dream, all just because of one particular area she fell short in.

Then she began to feel lightheaded. She grew weak in the knees and she could hear her heart beating in her ears. She walked aimlessly through the hallway until her feet pulled her to a nearby window. She desperately opened it and took several deep breaths to calm her nerves. She stood with her head hanging low and her fingers curled on top of the window sill.

"... yeah, I'm not a huge fan of her. She thinks she's all that just because she can nail a few exams."

Ami's ears perked up.

"I wouldn't call that anything to brag about. It sounds like she needs a hobby."

"Anyone else think she's a robot?"

She peered over her shoulder and noticed a group of students, three girls and a boy, across the hall, having an open discussion. It seemed the two redheaded girls of the group were doing most of the talking.

"You guys, that's enough," the girl with blond hair tried to chastise her friends.

Ami didn't realize how long and how intensely she had been staring until she accidentally made eye contact with her. The girl gasped and pretended to laugh at something the boy next to her said as if they hadn't just been gossiping about Ami a moment ago.

Ami sighed dejectedly and clenched her fists on top of the window sill. She was the one who had to learn to communicate with people and yet all they did was reject her and talk about her behind her back. Why were these the cards she had been dealt with? Why couldn't she just be normal for once instead of being the black sheep of the school?

For years now, Ami convinced herself that she was "alone, not lonely" and that she didn't need friends to drag her down. But more and more she began to realize that that was a lie. Ami knew she would never be considered anything close to a social butterfly, but having even just one acquaintance would be fine by her.

She shut her eyes tight and took another deep breath. Ami couldn't let herself dwell on these thoughts any longer; she had more productive things to accomplish now that the school day was over. With one last deep breath, Ami shut the window and quickly left the school building for her apartment.


	2. Chapter 02

"Let's get this over with…"

Makoto Kino grumbled as she walked down the sidewalk with her hands in the pockets of her skirt.

Makoto was a new student this term at Juuban Junior High School after transferring from two other schools for reasons she didn't like to discuss. She hoped that this one would be the last but at the same time she didn't have high expectations. Because of her transferring, she gained quite the reputation for some things that may have been accurate, but for other things that simply weren't true.

Makoto swore she never physically fought a teacher, even if he deserved it.

"I've gotta set the record straight this time around," Makoto murmured to herself, determined to make a brand new reputation.

Makoto approached the crosswalk at an intersection and at the moment, the light was on "don't walk" so she hit the button. Not too far ahead of her, Makoto noticed a blond girl walking carelessly across the street. She turned her head slightly, and coming towards her was a speeding car that showed no signs of slowing.

Acting instinctively, Makoto booked it into the street and, like a linebacker, shoved the girl out of the way with a yell. Both of them landed on the nearby sidewalk, a little bruised, but otherwise still in good health.

"Are you alright!?"

The girl responded dizzily, "I think so."

Makoto let out a sigh of relief. She pushed herself off ground and wiped the dust off of her clothes. "You need to pay attention or else next time you'll end up like a pancake," she half-joked.

Makoto walked away before the blond could even have the chance to thank her.

...

Just as Makoto suspected, she was being avoided all morning like the plague. The only interactions she had all day were receiving wary looks from the people who had crossed her path. Even teachers refrained from making direct eye contact with her.

"It's not like I didn't see this coming," Makoto murmured to herself while trudging down the hallway.

Distracting Makoto from her thoughts, not too far in front of her, a couple of girls were giving another girl with blue hair a hard time. One of the girls shoved the blue haired girl's shoulder a little too hard to be considered friendly, Makoto thought.

They said something probably unkind and conceited judging from the looks on their faces. One of them snatched the book that was in the victim's hand. She quickly scanned it over, looking at the front cover and the back of it. She decided that the book wasn't worth her time, so she dismissively dropped it on the ground with a loud thud. The girls laughed and walked away.

Makoto couldn't help but grit her teeth and glare, almost burning holes through the backs of their heads. Then her gaze softened when her eyes fell on the girl with blue hair. The girl remained silent and emotionless as she kneeled down to pick up the book. Then she began walking in the direction of Makoto.

Makoto reached out to her, "Hey—"

When emerald eyes met blue eyes for a brief second, the girl immediately averted them to the floor, held the book tightly to her chest, and quickened her pace.

"I guess bullies are the same at every school…" Makoto said bitterly as she watched the girl disappear down the hallway.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the school bell ring.

Lunchtime already, she thought.

Makoto walked outside with her bento box in hand. As she looked around for a quiet place to sit, the girl with blue hair she had seen earlier caught her eye. The girl sat cross legged, her nose buried in a novel, within the shade of a cherry tree that had yet to blossom. Before Makoto realized it, her feet were moving in her direction.

Makoto hesitated for a moment. "Hey, are you alright?"

The girl, startled, hid behind her book. Peeking from above the cover, her eyes slowly roamed up the body of the giant standing over her, from her hands, her breasts, to her shiny emerald eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you," Makoto began, "I saw some girls picking on you earlier and I was wondering if you were okay."

She remained silent and cast her eyes to the side, not meeting Makoto's. Makoto tilted her head in confusion; she couldn't read her at all.

"Hello?"

Still no response from the girl. After a pregnant pause, Makoto sighed. "Forget it. I'll leave you to it."

Makoto slowly and reluctantly turned her body away, but her eyes delayed. The girl was no longer hiding behind her book, however her hands were nervously playing with the hem of her skirt while she stared ahead at nothing in particular.

Shaking her head, finally, Makoto left her alone and planted herself at nice spot in the grass in front of a lush bush. She opened her bento box and took out her chopsticks. She was about to dig in but she could feel a presence and she heard the bush rustling directly behind her. She groaned inwardly.

"Can I help you!?"

When Makoto turned around, she saw that same blond girl, whom she saved earlier that day, recoil with a squeal.

"Oh, you're that girl," Makoto realized, lightening up.

The girl laughed nervously with a hand behind her head.

Makoto smiled and patted a spot on the grass next to her. "Well? Why don't you join me? My name's Kino Makoto."

"I'm Tsukino Usagi! Sorry for staring, by the way. Your lunch looks really good and I kinda forgot mine today…" Usagi explained.

Makoto honestly found Usagi cute in a hopeless sort of way, so she couldn't help but smile. This girl was also the first person in school to actually speak to her today.

"You know what? Take a few bites of mine."

Usagi doubletook. "Wait, really? That usually never works!"

"You got lucky today. Don't get used to it, though."

Usagi eagerly grabbed one of Makoto's onigiri and shoved it in her mouth. Her eyes widened.

"This is amazing! Your mom must be a great cook!"

Makoto's lips tightened in a straight line. "Actually, no… I made it myself."

"No way!"

She shrugged, "Yeah, it's kind of my thing."

Makoto's eyes wandered away from the blond and they traveled back to the girl with blue hair. She had since resumed reading her book.

Makoto lightly nudged Usagi, "Hey, call it morbid curiosity, but do you know that girl over there? The one underneath that tree."

Usagi blinked. "Her? I don't know her personally."

"Ah, okay. She just seemed a little standoffish earlier."

Usagi looked up in thought, "I know that her name is Mizuno Ami. She's this freaky kid genius. Not even kidding, she's a walking encyclopedia; she knows everything about everything."

"Imagine being that smart," Makoto said in wonder.

"Yeah, it does sound pretty nice and it'd probably help keep my mom off of my case… but she does get bullied almost everyday. Like, a lot." Makoto raised a brow and Usagi continued. "She doesn't talk to anyone, she just keeps to herself. So a lot of people think that she's cold or that she thinks she's better than everyone else. I've heard them say some pretty nasty things about her."

Makoto suddenly felt bad about calling her standoffish a moment ago. "Did you ever do that?"

"Me? I would never… though I've never done that much to stand up for her so that means I'm just as bad, doesn't it?"

Makoto shook her head. "I wouldn't go that far. Why not actually go and talk to her and see if she's really all that bad?"

"You know what, you're right. It sounds so obvious when you say it, but I guess I just needed to hear it out loud before it actually clicked."

Makoto smiled. She barely knew this girl, but so far she was already one of the nicest people she'd ever met. Maybe Usagi had somehow missed the rumors about her because she didn't seem afraid of her in the slightest. That made her relieved; maybe she didn't have to try so hard to fight her reputation after all, Makoto thought with a grin to herself.

"You know," Usagi started, "you don't seem as scary everyone else says you are!"

Makoto sighed exasperatedly, slapping a palm to her forehead. "Good to know…"

"No really! When I first heard about you, I was scared… but you then saved me and I immediately knew that you couldn't be that bad," Usagi explained.

"You really think so?"

"You haven't proven me wrong yet."

...

The day ended up turning out not as bad as Makoto previously thought it would be. She, of course, wasn't going to be the most popular girl in school, but she had made fast friends with Usagi and even her friend, Naru. Naru, being a natural gossip, had been afraid initially because she was aware of the rumors; however, after a short while, she easily warmed up to Makoto.

At the end of the day, the three of them began walking home. On the way, they saw Ami up ahead of them, walking her usual route to her apartment. Recalling what Makoto had said earlier, Usagi called out to Ami.

Ami stopped in her tracks and cautiously looked back. Catching sight of them, Ami froze like a deer in headlights. The three girls caught up to her. Up close, she looked quite intimidated, scared even, Makoto thought.

Throwing caution to the wind, Usagi waved like the cheerful ray of sunshine she was. "Hi! Do you wanna go to the arcade with us and then maybe go for pizza later?"

Ami glanced up from her shoes for a moment and her gaze moved from Usagi to Makoto. Makoto gave her a small smile and a nod. Ami's face reddened and she looked back down hurriedly.

"C'mon, I'm sure it'll be a lot more fun than homework!" Usagi bargained, casually placing her hand on Ami's shoulder.

Ami immediately flinched her hand off, taking a step back. The three girls stared at her. Finally, she shook her head quickly.

"No thank you," she responded before hastily walking away.

Naru rolled her eyes. "See? Cold."

"I was so sure that would work," Usagi said, deflated. "Do you think we scared her?"

Makoto was honestly just surprised that that girl wasn't completely mute after all.

"That probably was the case," Makoto replied with a shrug. "Either way, I'm still down for the arcade and pizza if you guys are," she added, breaking the tension.

"Of course!" Usagi answered.

...

Makoto shuffled down the steps of the school building as the wind shot through her chestnut colored hair. She walked through the grass, over to her usual spot with a sigh. As she opened her bento box, she jokingly wondered if Usagi would pop over again and find some other excuse to have some of her food.

Speaking of Usagi, Makoto wondered where the blond was. She scanned the campus and eventually found the girl sitting under a tree, talking animatedly in typical Usagi fashion. Makoto squinted her eyes. She was talking to no other than Ami Mizuno, who Makoto could see didn't contribute much to the conversation other than a few nods or shakes of her head.

Then seemingly out of nowhere Usagi pointed in Makoto's direction and waved. Makoto jumped slightly as a blush ran across her cheeks. Awkwardly, she waved back.

Makoto would never doubt Usagi in her wonder-working ability of making friends with literally anyone, ever again.


	3. Chapter 03

The past week had been quite strange for Ami, to say the least. She went from being a social outcast who did their best to just fly under the radar, to having two girls following her around actually trying to have conversations with her. At first it was simply a weird, random occurrence, but it quickly grew to be a daily thing. The two girls, she eventually learned were named Usagi and Makoto, would cheerfully greet Ami, asking about things such as the weather as they crossed paths in the hallway. They would join her at her usual spot for lunch, and accompany her on the walk home from school everyday. They even had her join them at Usagi's house to do homework and, more importantly, help them with theirs a couple days a week.

With all of this happening, Ami still wasn't sure if she knew the fundamentals of how to have a conversation.

Ami honestly preferred this type of interaction over getting harassed constantly, but she just wasn't used to this new attention. She couldn't help but fear that this was some sort of practical joke at her expense. People never went out of their way just to speak to Ami, it just didn't happen. She figured that they were only after her to help their declining grades seeing as that was the only thing she had to offer. At least that's what she convinced herself.

So, Ami ultimately decided to keep up this charade for as long Usagi and Makoto could stand to be around her. Eventually, they'd get what they needed, or they'd get sick of Ami, and she'd go back to being an outcast. Homeostasis maintained.

...

Ami stood at her locker. On a planner she kept taped to the door, she wrote down, in pen, her homework assignments and topics that needed to be studied for the week. She had everything scheduled down to a T to keep up her daily routine. Ami would devote Monday to studying genetics for the test the following day, Tuesday to finishing up the calculous packet and touching up on German literature, Wednesday to-

"Hey Ami, how are the classes?" Makoto asked, suddenly appearing behind her.

Ami tensed, nearly dropping her pen. Her heart was pounding in her ears as she spun around to face her intruder. At the realization that she meant no harm, Ami shrugged with a nervous smile.

"Good, I'm guessing? There must not be many challenges when you're as smart as you are," Makoto supposed.

Ami wasn't certain whether she was supposed to agree with her, so she settled for wiggling her hand in the air in a 'so-so' manner. She figured it was better to seem humble than to admit the truth sometimes.

Makoto scratched the back of her head. She was never very good at playing nonverbal guessing games. "Still not much of a talker, huh?"

The two of them looked around the hallway, both avoiding the other's gaze. Makoto bit her lip trying to think of anything to say to keep this going. Maintaining a one-sided conversation was no easy task.

Ami would never say it out loud, but she wished Makoto would walk away just to spare them from the awkwardness. She wished Makoto knew she didn't have to try this hard to pretend to be her friend.

"So, uh, ever play sports or anything? Y'know, baseball… tennis… beach volleyball?"

Ami gave her an incredulous look.

"Yeah, I didn't think so. Man, that was a dumb question."

"Yes, it was," Ami returned plainly.

Makoto's eyes widened then narrowed. "Oh, _now_ you decide to talk. I'm beginning to think you enjoy watching me stumble over my words," she chuckled.

Ami giggled softly into her hand. The corners of Makoto's lips curled upward; her heart almost melted at the sight and sound. She couldn't deny that it was too adorable for words.

She couldn't help but giggle as well. "Oh great, and now you're laughing at me too," she joked.

Ami immediately went somber, lowering her head. "I apologize."

Makoto quickly shook her head, "No, no, I was just kidding. I-"

"Hey Mako, how about we have another night like last night?"

A group of male students approached the two girls with smug looks etched on each of their faces. Makoto was not amused. Instinctively, Ami did her best to hide behind the taller girl.

Makoto groaned and rolled her eyes. "As if I would ever-"

"This guy wants to give it a try. I told him it's like riding a mechanical bull," the leader of the pack pointed to one of his buddies.

"Hey, how about we watch the mouth?" Makoto snapped, "Next time you even look at me weird, you and I are going to have some problems."

"Dykes!" one of the boys shouted as the group continued their way down the hallway.

"Dykes?" Ami repeated. She looked up at Makoto and saw her whole body tense up; her fists clenched and her teeth were gritted. Ami thought if this were a cartoon, smoke would be coming out of her ears by now.

Makoto shut her eyes and shook her head. Internally, she began counting to a large number.

"Makoto, what were they talking about?" Ami asked innocently.

"J-just get to class," Makoto replied, seething.

Ami nodded without a word, not wanting to be on the receiving end of Makoto's ire.

...

"Well, Ami, now that we're friends, would you take us up on our offer and go with us to the arcade?" Usagi asked.

Ami didn't know the requisites for being considered a friend to someone, but she was sure it involved more than following someone around all day.

"I don't know…" Ami replied. She would've just flat out said 'no' except she knew by now that Usagi would never take that for an answer. She thought, if Usagi and Makoto were truly only using her, then they certainly were committed to maintaining this act.

"Please? It'll be so much fun!" Usagi pleaded.

Makoto smiled down at Ami. "C'mon, even just one game would be alright," she coaxed, gently nudging the short girl.

Ami looked at the ground shyly. In this situation, she was powerless. "Okay. Until I have to leave for cram school, however."

"Oh, that's right! You do go that cram school for the rich kids!" Usagi remembered.

"I'm not rich…" Ami murmured.

Usagi didn't hear. "I doubt you really need it though."

Ami shrugged. "It's not like I'm good at anything else besides studying," she said, mostly to herself.

Usagi and Makoto looked at each other warily.

...

Ami took one step inside of the Crown Arcade and her senses were instantly assaulted. Her eyes were caught by the flashing neon lights of the video game screens, the air was thick with the smell of sweat mixed with the saltiness of deep fried fast food, and she could hear layers of sound consisting of the clicking of buttons, synchronized audio effects, corny music, and the yelling of kids and teenagers above all the noise. She instinctively squinted her eyes and put her hands over her ears.

Makoto looked at her with concern. Before she could say anything to comfort her, Usagi dragged the both of them to the new Sailor V game in the center of the room.

Usagi grinned, cracking her knuckles. "It's time for you guys to watch an expert at work. I've got a strategy."

Makoto rolled her eyes.

Ami raised an eyebrow at the word 'strategy'. She didn't know Usagi that well, but she never saw her as the type to actually think things through. Curiosity piqued, Ami offered Usagi and the game her attention.

As it turned out, Usagi's _strategy_ was just excessive button mashing without any rhyme or reason. Neither Makoto nor Ami were surprised by the fact that she was disintegrated by evil youma before even making it to the first boss.

"That was…" Makoto began, "underwhelming."

Usagi glared at Makoto but then shifted her eyes to Ami. A proverbial light bulb turned on.

"Hey! You should give it a try!" Usagi claimed.

Ami's face blanched. "Me?" she questioned. "I-I couldn't, I've never even played-"

"That doesn't matter, it's so easy! Just give it a try," Usagi said dismissively.

Makoto knew exactly what kind of game Usagi was playing and she couldn't help but be slightly amused by her antics. Feeling mischievous, she kept her mouth shut to see how this would play out.

Ami wasn't planning on making a fool of herself that day, but it seemed inevitable. With a sigh she sat in front of the machine and looked down at the controls, trying to make sense of them. She pulled her glasses out of her satchel and put them. She started the game.

Youma emerged from each side of the screen. Acting quickly, Ami blocked and dodged their attacks and fended them off with punches, kicks, and Sailor V's signature Crescent Beam attack, all the while collecting crystals through the stage.

Makoto and Usagi both watched with their jaws on the floor. Not only was Ami performing better than Usagi, she was killing it, quite literally.

Makoto couldn't explain it, but she felt a small sense of pride as onlookers began showing up, one by one, to watch the spectacle. This was unknown to Ami as she was completely in the zone, eyes glued to the screen. By this point, Ami had beaten the second boss without showing any signs of struggle.

"I guess your plan fell apart," Makoto said to Usagi.

Usagi stuck out her tongue in rebuttal.

Ending it with a Crescent Beam, Ami beat the final boss while managing not to take any hits at all, winning the entire game. Ami was taken out of her intense state of focus by the cheers she heard erupt from behind her.

"Ami, I'm floored! How did you do all that?" Makoto exclaimed.

Ami replied, "All I had to do was quickly memorize the game's AI patterns, which didn't seem to be all that complex anyhow, and then using that as a roadmap, I came up with a game plan as I went."

Makoto scratched her head. Maybe the patterns weren't so complex, but that explanation sure was. "You make it sound so easy," she said.

Ami's face flushed as she shyly averted her eyes. The brunette squinted her eyes at the curved up corners of Ami's mouth. This was her second time seeing Ami smile today, and probably only her second time ever. Makoto wanted to treasure this sight forever. She grinned, and placed a hand on Ami's shoulder. "A smile is a really good look on you, I hope we get to see it more."

Ami coughed awkwardly into her hand, her face heating up in reaction to the remark. Abruptly she stood up with her bag in tow. "I… I have to go… otherwise I'll be late for cram school."

Makoto's face fell. "See you later then?" she said hopefully.

Ami nodded with another small smile before walking to the exit.

"Bummer," Usagi lamented. "I really feel like she was having fun."

"Yeah…"

...

After cram school had ended for the evening, Ami was in her room, changed into a light blue, cotton shirt and grey sweatpants. She sat at her desk reading through the genetics chapter in biology textbook. She stretched her arms above her head with a long yawn, when her wrist watch beeped. It was 6:45pm and that meant time to heat up some leftovers and set the table for her and her mother.

In the kitchen, Ami peeked into fridge and pulled out a plastic container with that day's date on it. It looked like they were having curry rice again.

She set two warmed up plates of curry on the dining room table and sat down. She looked down at her watch precisely as it beeped again, 7:00pm flashing, and like clockwork, she heard a key turning in the front door's lock.

Her mother walked into kitchen, greeting Ami with a smile. "Hi Ami, how are you doing?"

"Fine," Ami answered.

"Anything exciting happen today?"

Ami paused for a moment. Then she replied, "Nothing that I can think of."

"Alright then, I'm gonna run and take a shower. I'll be back in 15 so we can eat."

...

Ami dug into her meal as her mother talked about work animatedly.

"... and then we picked up all the pieces, sewed him back together, and once again the day is saved!" Saeko said.

"It seemed like such an easy solution," Ami commented.

"Well, you would think so," Saeko began, "but sometimes the clear choice isn't always the easiest."

Ami nodded, seeming to understand.

A pregnant pause hit the conversation and all that could be heard was the sound of silverware sliding against the plates.

Ami glanced up from her plate and Saeko met her eyes. "How did you make friends in high school?" she asked.

Saeko blinked. "Me specifically?" Ami nodded quickly. "Well, admittedly, there were times when I tried to be something that I wasn't. That did result in me becoming friends with plenty of people, but they weren't really my friends. It wasn't until I started acting more like myself that I found my real friends. I'm still close with most of them to this day. Do you know what I'm saying?"

"What do you mean by 'being something that you weren't'?" Ami asked, playing absently with her fork.

Saeko looked up in thought, piecing her words together. "I was one of the top students in my class so I thought that if I dumbed myself down around others they'd like me more. Of course I found out that was a mistake when I realized how shallow people can be. The best friends you could have are the ones that will care about you however you are and not just some version of you," Saeko added, "Or at least that's how I see it."

Ami stared ahead in space with eyes narrowed, processing her mother's words.

Saeko cocked her head to the side. "Have you made any new friends?"

"I don't know."

Her mother offered Ami a comforting smile. "Don't worry if you haven't found the right sort of people yet, they'll come around eventually."

Ami thought back to the two girls that followed her everywhere. Could they be the 'right sort of people' that her mother talked about? She suddenly felt like she had been in the wrong for judging them so early on when she didn't know them. It seemed so tone deaf when she realized that that's what people have doing to her since kindergarten.

Even if they genuinely wanted to be friends with Ami, what did she have to offer them? All she had was an encyclopedic knowledge on maths and sciences. How would she entertain them, by reciting a 15 minute monologue about all the different theorems she knew?

Ami set her silverware down on her plate and stood up to place it in the sink.

"I'll be in my room," Ami stated before leaving the kitchen.

…

 _A young, brown haired man sat hunched over his desk. He hummed tunelessly to himself whilst his hand worked gracefully yet diligently with paint brush gripped loosely in his hand. The brush tip glided musically across the canvas in long and short strokes. His flow was interrupted at the vibration of approaching, tiny footsteps from behind him._

 _With a groan, he placed paint brush off to the side and glanced over his shoulder. Standing immediately behind him was a little girl with shoulder-length blue hair holding open a massive book, almost as large she was. Eagerly she pointed to the words filling the page, begging for her father's attention._

 _The man just stared, his eyebrows furrowed. "What do you want?"_

 _The girl pointed to the book again, tapping on it urgently._

 _His eyes narrowed in annoyance. "If you don't have time to use words then I don't have time to try and decode what you're trying to tell me."_

 _This time the girl desperately shook the book in front of the man's face as a final attempt to get him to understand._

 _Instead, the man abruptly slammed his fist on his desktop, nearly spilling his water class. "I've had it," he snapped, "come back when you wanna talk about something interesting. Bore your mother with whatever's in that book." Forcefully, he shut the book still in the girls hands._

Ami's eyes snapped opened.

Staring up at the ceiling, she blinked, focusing her eyes. The night was at its most quiet where all she could hear was her own breathing. Ami sat up in her bed, her blanket falling to her waist. She grimaced at herself, feeling completely icky. Her forehead was covered in sweat as a result of the tension of her dream.

Ami hugged herself to settle her nerves. She didn't consider the dream to have been a nightmare. It was based on a memory of her childhood that she knew well. There were no terrifying imagery or ominous sounds. It was simply a recount of a moment in time, exactly as it had happened.

Ami was about six at the time. Her mother was out of the house, running errands, leaving Ami in the hands of her busy father. While he was working on a piece for a client in his office, Ami was lying in the hallway, looking through a large science textbook. She recalled finding a chapter that dealt with the relationship between art and science; how they had more in common than one might realize.

Excited to share findings, she hurried into her father's office. Standing on her toes, she held the book up to him, trying to get his attention.

All he did was reject and cast her aside, then putting his focus back on his work. He told her to come back only when she had something that would interest him. She knew immediately that that had been a lie because that was what she had just done. She had hoped that the topic the book spoke about would be enough to salvage what was left of her and her father's strained relationship, but couldn't be bothered to even care.

That had been Ami's final attempt at trying to bond with her father in the way that she did with her mother. They were strangers living in the same house.

Two years after that, the man vanished from their lives.

Her mind back in the present, Ami didn't notice it at first, but tears had begun to form in her eyes. Quickly she wiped them away with the backs of her hands.


	4. Chapter 04

Makoto and Usagi sat idly at the back of their English class. No one was worried about pretending to look busy since after being assigned a reading, the teacher had decided to take a snooze at her desk.

"... and Shingo totally embarrassed me in front of both Motoki and Mamoru! I swear that is the last time I'm a being a chaperone to him," Usagi complained.

"Oh, Motoki's that guy who works at the Crown, right?" Makoto questioned.

"Yeah, he's the really cute, tall, blond guy. Even with what happened yesterday, I feel like I still have a chance with him."

Makoto chuckled lightly, "Sure you do. What about Mamoru though? I don't think I know him."

Usagi grimaced at the thought of him. "He's just one of Motoki's college friends. He's only kind of cute, but because he's a huge jerk, it cancels that out."

Makoto gave her an amused but equally confused look, "Not even going to ask you to explain the math on that one…"

"How about you though?" Usagi prompted, "Interested in anybody yet?"

"Me?" Makoto just shrugged, "None of the guys at this school really stick out to me. They all seem really immature."

"Agreed! I go for older guys for a reason, you know," Usagi replied. Makoto gave her a look. The blond was unbothered. "How about the girls though?"

Makoto doubletook. "What are you implying?!" she asked incredulously, face warming slightly.

"What? The option's there," Usagi said, laughing.

Holding back a laugh herself, Makoto glared at Usagi. "I think I'll pass!"

"Just a consideration."

"Don't joke about that!"

"Wow, you're defensive," Usagi said, her grin growing wider. "What are you gonna do? Beat me up?"

"I've been thinking about it," Makoto laughed. "As for your question," she placed a hand on her chin as she thought, "you know, Ami's pretty cute when you think about it."

Now it was Usagi's turn to be amused. "You aren't saying you _like_ Ami, are you?"

Makoto shook her head quickly, "No way, don't put words in my mouth. I'm just saying she isn't that bad to look at. She's kind of cute, you know, especially when she has the glasses on… Stop looking at me like that."

"Uh huh," Usagi said flatly.

"I think you're kind of cute too, but in, like, a ditsy Usagi kind of way?"

"I'm not sure if that's supposed to be a compliment or not."

"Take it how you wanna take it," Makoto responded indifferently. She was too tired to put in the effort for coming up with an actual explanation.

Usagi crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine, be that way. I think that you're pretty cute too, along with everyone else."

"You mean _everyone_ at this school?"

"All of the girls at least."

"That's a very 'you' thing to say."

Usagi furrowed her brows in a pout, "Again, I don't know if I'm being complimented or not."

"I'll explain it to you later, teacher's about to wake up," Makoto said hurriedly, pulling out her notebook and pretending to furiously take notes.

...

"So Mako," Usagi began with a mischievous glint in her eye, "how about a rematch at the Sailor V game?"

The school day came to a close and the trio went on their usual walk home together.

Makoto shook her head. "Uh, no, that's alright," she said distantly. With a smirk, she added, "but you know I would totally kick your butt."

"As if! If you're not in the mood to play video games, wanna come over to my place and watch TV or something, then?"

Makoto shook her head again, this time more adamantly. "No, I'm busy… I've got _serious_ trig homework. I'll probably be up all night."

"Oh hey, we could have a homework party. I'm sure trig is right in Ami's wheelhouse."

Ami made an indifferent sound and shrugged.

Makoto offered them an uncharacteristically shy smile, "No… I really just have to go home."

Usagi squinted her eyes. This wasn't the first time Makoto had to come up with a weak excuse to get out of their engagements in the month that they've known each other. "I guess that's fine." Makoto visibly relaxed. Usagi glanced over to the blue haired girl, catching her slightly off guard. "How about you, Ami? Do you wanna do anything today?"

"No, I'd like to get to cram school early," Ami answered.

Usagi looked at Ami as if she had grown a second head. "Why would you wanna go to cram school early?" Usagi asked, scratching her head.

"... because I always go to cram school early?"

"Ugh, you guys are lame," Usagi groaned, walking up the sidewalk.

Makoto's mouth pressed into a thin line and she followed, Ami at her side.

The three girls stopped in front of a parted, bronzen gate leading to a fairly lavish, but comfortable looking apartment complex.

"Well, I'll see you guys tomorrow," Makoto said, crossing to the other side of the gate.

"Don't work too hard tonight, Mako," Usagi said with a wink.

Makoto gave an awkward smile in return. She was afraid she didn't really have a say in the matter, she thought.

"Goodbye, Makoto," Ami said with a curt nod of her head. Makoto politely returned it.

Makoto turned away from the girls and walked up the driveway.

Uttering a final goodbye, Usagi and Ami continued down the sidewalk to return to their own homes.

Makoto changed directions midstep and left the gate. Silently, she stood and watched as her friends walked long and far, eventually rounding a corner. Soon enough they were out of Makoto's sight. She exhaled a sigh of relief. Briefly checking left and right for oncoming traffic, she hurried across the street, satchel in tow.

...

"Hey, Mako," a man dressed neat and trimly in a white shirt, black bow tie, and red vest, called. Makoto, wearing the same but with a pen stuck behind her ear, looked up from the tabletop she was wiping down. "There's a table for two waiting for you."

"I'm on it," Makoto replied.

It was the middle of dinnertime service at an Italian restaurant. The building was packed to the brim with customers at every table and waiters frantically going around, serving them all.

Makoto went to the back of the restaurant picked up two menus as well as her small notepad. With her eyes, she searched around the dining area for the two customers that had yet to be served. When she caught sight of one of two women that she was supposed to be waiting on seated only a few tables away, she audibly gasped, nearly dropping the menus.

Much to her luck, the two women looked in her direction. Thinking on her toes, Makoto hid her face inside of a menu. She hoped that they'd realize she just liked to be fully immersed in this restaurant's cuisine and turn back away.

An emerald eye peaked out the side of the menu and saw that they indeed had returned to having idle conversation.

"Shit!" Makoto cursed quietly, "How is she here? This isn't even anywhere near school!"

Makoto was in a bit of a dichotomy; either she neglected the two customers and got reprimanded by the manager, or, she took the order, got recognized immediately, and have it be common knowledge at school by tomorrow.

Makoto groaned. The choice was obvious, but still it wasn't a decision she wanted to make.

...

"The atmosphere of this place is pretty nice. I'm glad my colleague recommended me this to me; I bet the food will taste great," Saeko commented idly. "What do you think?"

"I just wonder what's taking the waiter so long," Ami said, looking down at her watch.

"It looks a bit busy tonight, they'll probably get to us eventually. Speaking of, do you think you can order for yourself this time?"

Ami shook her head adamantly.

"It's not so bad. It'll be just like we practiced."

"I'd rather not," Ami said.

Saeko scowled, "Ami… Oh, here comes the waitress!"

Ami looked up from the table and almost doubletook. She certainly hadn't been expecting to see anyone from school here, let alone see Makoto towering over her table.

"Good evening, ladies. My name is Makoto and I'll be your server for tonight. Can I start you two off with anything to drink?"

Ami stared up at Makoto with her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Did Makoto just not recognize her outside of a school setting, or was she purposely pretending not to know her?

"Yes, I'll just take a water." Saeko glanced in Ami's direction and raised her brows expectantly.

"And for you?" Makoto asked Ami whilst looking above her head to refrain from making eye contact.

Her mother might not have been able to tell, but Ami knew right away that the smile Makoto wore on her face was a false one. Ami had seen the corners of her mouth blithely turn upward many times, usually at the response of one of Usagi's jokes, and this wasn't it.

She cleared her throat. "Water's fine," her voice wavered slightly.

Saeko smiled proudly.

"Alright, I'll leave you with these," Makoto handed both of them a menu, "and I'll be back with water in a moment." With a nod, Makoto walked back to the kitchen.

"Did you know that girl?" Saeko asked Ami as soon as the brunette was out of ear range.

Ami answered, "No, she just had a familiar face."

Saeko nodded, seeming to buy it. "She's a nice, young waitress. Really tall though, isn't she?"

"I suppose," Ami said quietly.

For the majority of the night, Ami sat idly, using her fork to play with her pasta. As her mother tried making conversation, Ami only responded half-heartedly with one or two word answers. Her attention was elsewhere. It was several times that she and Makoto had accidentally made direct eye contact whilst she served other customers.

Ami couldn't help but feel sort of betrayed and hurt that Makoto barely acknowledged her the entire night, other than taking her order. They spent enough time together that Ami thought it would at least warrant Makoto acting like she was happy to see her in a public place and not treating her like a total stranger. But then, maybe Ami just let her emotions cloud her judgement and she misread the signs. She thought, who in their right mind would want it to be public knowledge that they were associated with her?

Each time Makoto passed by their table, Ami felt the urge to say something to her but she restrained herself, not wanting to make a fool of herself whilst making the brunette uncomfortable. While she wasn't being very subtle with her fidgeting, she forgot to take in account that her mother notices everything.

"Ami? Are you alright?" Saeko asked, looking up from her plate and directly at Ami's eyes. "You keep looking at that girl." She discreetly gestured to the tall waitress.

Ami's face flushed as her eyes dropped to her lap. "I-I'm fine," she answered unconvincingly. A nervous habit, her fingers gripped onto the hemline of her knee-length skirt.

Saeko tensed. It had been a long while since Ami had a meltdown in a public place so she wasn't certain if that's what was occurring. She wondered if letting her order for herself tonight or if something the waitress said earlier had been what triggered it. "Do you want to get these boxed to go? We can leave now if you want some fresh air.."

Ami shook her head.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Saeko gave her one more wary look before she turned her attention back to her meal. Ami took one last look at Makoto and saw her leave the dining area to the kitchen, out of her sight. A sigh escaped Ami's lips as her shoulders relaxed.

...

When Makoto returned home to her tiny, one-room apartment, she immediately plopped down face first into her dingy, old sofa. The tired springs inside of it poked at her uncomfortably. She groaned loudly into the worn cushion. Though very humble her home was, she did the best she could to keep it well tidied and organized to give at least some form of homeliness.

She had been so careful for the entire year she worked at the restaurant. She had calculated every single move, but in just one foul swoop, the one thing she had feared would happen, happened. Now she feared whether this would become old news by the time she made it to school tomorrow. What she didn't need was everyone questioning why a 15 year old would need to work 30 hours a week, inevitably leading to questions about her living situation.

Makoto shivered. She wasn't sure if it was because she was thinking about the worst scenario or if it was because she had the heater off to save money.

Forcing herself to get up from her semi-comfortable position, she dragged her discarded backpack over. When she told Usagi and Ami that she had serious trig homework that would probably take all night, that actually hadn't been a lie. With another groan, Makoto pulled the packet out, onto her lap.

...

"Listen," Makoto said impedingly, "what you saw last night needs to stay between us two. Nobody else can know about this." Makoto had each of her hands pressed up against the wall, successfully cornering the blue-haired girl in the hallway.

Ami stared up at Makoto, instantly noticing the dark circles surrounding her dull eyes. "I hadn't been planning on telling anyone. What you do in your personal life is your own business," she replied plainly.

Makoto hadn't been expecting Ami to comply that easily, she honestly wished she would have put up at least a little bit of a fight because Makoto still had more of an argument she prepared beforehand to make. Though, she supposed, that probably went against Ami's non confrontational nature.

"... Right. So, you know why I had to pretend I didn't know you last night?" Makoto asked carefully as to not hurt her feelings.

"Yes. I understand clearly," Ami said firmly.

Makoto blinked. She still wasn't quite used to Ami's lack of inflection when she spoke. "Well… good."

"May I go to class?"

The tall girl peered at Ami perplexedly until realizing she still had Ami trapped by her arms. "Yeah, yeah, of course," she said sheepishly, dropping her hands.

Without sparing another word or even a glance, Ami walked away, leaving behind a confused Makoto.

Makoto scratched the back of her head. She just knew she messed that one up somehow.


End file.
